Do you wonder what's going on in your painful and confusing marriage? 

I wrote a book just for you. It's not going to tell you how you can be a better wife. How you need to try harder. How it's all your fault that you spend time curled up on your bathroom floor wondering if life is even worth it. 

I'm going to help you see what's really going on. And you can learn and process together with other women just like you in an 11-week book group. 

I want to join!


You're scared, sad, frustrated and overwhelmed. 


That's why I wrote a book that's easy to understand
. . . and totally relatable.
Books can be helpful

But processing the material through a carefully crafted workbook with a group of women going through the same things you're going through?


When you live in a hidden abuse situation it is life-changing when you find people who not only believe you but can relate to the struggle. This small group study changed my life!

Small Group Attendee

An 11-week deep dive into the most confusing, painful part of your life right now...your marriage.

Learn what's really going on and why.

When? Thursdays starting February 9 and running through April 20. 

Time? 7:00-9:00 pm CT (please note the time zone)


By the end of this book study, you'll have learned:

  • Why your marriage continues to be confusing and painful no matter what you've done to fix it. You'll be able to stop spinning in circles that go nowhere.
  • How to find your voice and be the woman God created you to be. It feels good to finally be aligned with your core values.
  • The key to your future. Because you have one.

And you'll be able to learn all of this and more in a safe, judgment-free space where you will be supported, seen, and heard.

Reading the book is an incredible experience, however, when you take the time to process each chapter as an element of its own and allow the information to sink in, process, discuss and share openly provides a totally higher level of experience. Writing, and discussing each chapter was a deep dive that just has no parallel. I have watched women grow exponentially from Chapter 1 to Chapter 11. It was truly incredible to watch the confidence, vulnerability, trust and faith grow from each passing week. These women committed, and participated every single week without fail.We developed tools to make better decisions and gained support and meaningful friendship.

Small Group Attendee

Meet the author of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage?

Hi! I'm Natalie Hoffman


I know what it's like to crawl, and I know what it's like to fly free. My passion, education, and skillset empowers women of faith to go from one to the other.

I've gently and compassionately walked this path with hundreds of women, and I'm ready to walk it with you.

You're not alone anymore.


This is going to

change your life!



You'll meet with other women in a small group setting online using Zoom. Meetings are private and run every week for 11 weeks.

PDF Download of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage

You'll be able to read the book in secret on your computer, phone, or tablet. 


Books are great. But unless you can dig deeper and apply what you learn to your own life experience, you'll never gain the traction necessary to change your life. This workbook will give you the lightbulb moments you need to begin that transformation. Bonus? This PDF is fillable which means you'll be able to do the workbook right on your computer where nobody can find it but you!


You'll get access to a 5-minute video lesson presented by the author for every single chapter.

Live Q&A

On the last week of meetings, you'll be invited to a live 2-hour Q&A with the author, Natalie  Hoffman. You'll be able to ask her the questions that matter most to you.

I want to be in a small group!
Sign Me Up Now ➡

The workbook is so jam packed with goodness! It took a lot of good energy to work through and I am so thankful. I really enjoyed being able to share about my experience in a safe place with other ladies who really get it. I also liked how we were all in different stages so could help each other out and encourage and ask questions of those further along in the process.

Small Group Attendee

It is so helpful to connect with other women of faith in a safe environment who have gone through or are going through what you are. Game-changer!

small group attendee

I have already told so many people about this small group study! The relationships that have been formed are great. It is like throwing out lifelines to anyone who will take it. Keep offering this study. Please.



The small groups allowed me to have a safe place to process my emotional pain and share it with other women who are having the kind of life experience and human experience as I was having at that time. The small groups have opened up new friendships to me when I wanted to isolate myself in self-pity. It's like a Recovery group in that I get to share without judgment and be heard and challenged.


Let's Talk Chapters

The breakdown

Is This Your Marriage?

We'll start off by diving into the characteristics of an emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage. You'll learn how to recognize covert abuse and abusive patterns of behavior. This may not be an easy chapter to read and process, but it's an important step in your ultimate recovery.



What Does a Normal Marriage Look Like?

Well, for starters, it's not confusing. In this chapter, you'll learn the six characteristics of a normal, healthy Christian marriage. Because when you've been living in crazy land for so long, it's hard to know sometimes. 



The Propaganda Machine


This chapter will blow your mind. We'll take a close look at some of the most common beliefs Christian women are programmed with in order to keep them from entering into their full identity and power through Christ. You are more manipulatable if you believe the Bible teaches things it doesn't. But the Truth will set you free. 


His Role


Chapter four takes an up-close look at what makes your partner tick. What does he do? How do his behaviors reveal what he believes about himself? What he believes about marriage and women? What he believes about you? What are the consequences of his chronic patterns of behavior? And most importantly, the million-dollar question...

Can he change?             

Your Role


You might think this chapter is going to define you as weak, powerless, and small. But that wouldn't be telling the truth. The emotional abuse victim is incredibly resilient, responsible, forgiving, and empathetic. You'll read about your strengths and why they were the reason you were targeted in the first place. If you've been erased, this chapter will help you see who you really are.


The Roles of Others

Your emotionally abusive relationship depends on an unspoken agreement between your partner and your church, family, friends, counselors, and community. He agrees to treat them nice, and they agree to look the other way when you come forward to expose his behavior. This leaves you on your own to fight for your sanity and safety. Find out how and why others believe the abuser over the victim most of the time.


God's Role


Wonder where God is in this mess? In this chapter you'll learn about God's view of women, what the Bible says about abuse, and what God thinks about marriage and divorce. But most importantly, what does God think about you? Does He care about your marriage more than He cares about the lives within that marriage? You'll discover that God is nothing like your abuser. 


Changing Your Role


It takes tremendous courage to break free from long-held beliefs and life-long patterns of behavior designed to protect you from core pain. Survivors learn, sometimes for the first time, how to stand alone. Fear is part of this journey, but so is love. As you begin to make changes in how you show up in the relationship, you discover that God's love is strong enough to hold you together. He wants you to be who HE created you to be!


House of Cards


This chapter is all about what happens when the survivor changes her role. Basically, it's about the proverbial you-know-what hitting the fan. There will be an explosion, and it won't be comfortable. This chapter is a "heads-up" so you're prepared and equipped when it happens. Because a lot of people won't like it when you finally start to realize and live into being the adult you are. 


The Key to Your Future


The key is YOU. Your identity has been neglected for so long - perhaps all of your life. Other people sprayed graffiti all over the walls of your life, and now it's time to clean it all up and make it yours again. This isn't selfish. This is wise stewardship. This chapter will give you an exciting vision for how you can begin the process of being YOU. 


What Comes Next? 

We don't just leave you hanging at the end of this book study. We'll introduce you to resources that will continue to educate, support, and strengthen you on your way. The author, Natalie Hoffman, will meet with the group for a live two-hour Q&A on week eleven and answer all of your questions. 

I'm ready to join

Let's Do This

Still Got Questions?

The book and workbook are absolutely essential for surviving this type of marriage. I have read the book several times now & learn many new ideas & applications each time. And the workbook makes me slow down and digest and put it all into practice. I have applied these ideas not just to my marriage but also in difficult work & family situations. Thank you so much for this experience!

Small Group Attendee

I got clarity and learned to speak up by practicing with the safe ladies in this book group. I have been looking for these steps especially for the family scapegoating and verbal and emotional abuse I had experienced throughout my childhood. I have boundaries in place and thanks to your book, I now can put these tools in my toolbelt to protect myself from my dad and stepmom.

small group attendee

The women were wonderful to share with and very supportive. This has been a rich experience and I'd like to do it again.


This group study was life-giving. It reminded me of group therapy. I was sad when it ended.


This was a life-changing experience and the groups being small made it very personal. I learned so much and was amazed at the growth we all had in just 11 weeks. It got me through one of the darkest seasons of my life, and I can’t say enough how thankful I am.


I was part of the group as an advocate. I sat alongside my friend from church. I am in a healthy marriage, but I learned so much about myself, God, boundaries, and how to truly help people. It's inspired me to go back to school next semester and get my master of divinity degree. I was honored and blessed by the courageous women in my group.

small group attendee
I want to be in a small group!
Sign Me Up Now ➡