It's getting worse...
What if you didn’t NEED the approval of others to feel confident that you can make good decisions for you and your kids?
What if you had a group of friends that understood your marriage problems and could offer the support and acceptance you crave? Friends that have your back and will love you and respect the choices you’re making?
…And what if you had a way of dealing with your old hurts and baggage so you can deprogram from the lies that are keeping you stuck — to start walking with confidence and hope?
(You feel like you could get through this if you weren't so alone...)
A lifeline of support and help for women of faith experiencing emotional and spiritual abuse in their relationships.
Bite-sized weekly lessons along with mini-journal assignments focused on helping you get rid of toxic core beliefs, replacing them with truth that will strengthen you so you can go from crawling to flying. One easy step at a time.
Daily support from a group of women exactly like you who are learning and growing together, sharing stories, praying for each other, and offering insights and wisdom every step of the way. You’re no longer doing this alone!
Turbo-charged education from experts like Bob Hamp and Patrick Doyle - with experience in the field of emotional abuse recovery. These workshops will give you the insights you need to get you unstuck and moving forward.
Your Flying Free membership is only $25 per month. When the time comes to register, you can pay with a credit card or through PayPal, and you'll be automatically charged every month on the same day you subscribed. You may unsubscribe at any time. Your payment will show up on your credit card as going to N Hoffman. There is also the option to purchase a one-year membership for $250. This is a savings of $50 - or twelve months for the price of ten. An annual membership also gets you a free PDF download of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage AND a PDF download of the Is It Me? Companion Workbook.
Flying Free costs a fraction of what you'd pay for counseling (up to $150 a pop!) and medical bills to deal with the psychological and physical repercussions of emotional abuse, and many women have told me Flying Free has had a greater impact on their healing than any of the above. If you knew that you would be a different person a few short months from now in an incredibly life-transforming way - would the cost of Flying Free be worth that?
However, if you are in a position where you have absolutely no wiggle room financially, see if a friend or family member would be willing to sponsor you with a one year subscription. Send them updates on how their investment is paying off in your life. People love to know how they can help—sometimes all you need to do is ask.
Some of our members need an extra layer of safety. One of the ways they've solved this problem is to purchase a pre-loaded Visa gift card at Walmart or other major chain grocery or drug store. Banks sell them, too. Another idea is to have a friend or family member use their credit card, and you can pay them back with cash.
Flying Free doesn't actually take a lot of time. There's a buffet of options within the Flying Free membership group, but it's exactly that. A buffet. You don't have to eat every single dish. You can sample them if you'd like and stick with the ones that meet YOUR specific needs each month. Even if all you do is read the lessons each week (packed with life-changing insights into emotional abuse and your healing process) or just watch the videos, you'll get your money's worth. Or maybe you simply want the support and fellowship of other women going through exactly what you're going through? The community forum may be all it takes to give you what you need to heal.
The Flying Free Sisterhood is unique in some important ways. First, we use journal therapy as the main tool for recovery and healing.
Second, as the facilitator of Flying Free, I bring over 25 years of experience in an emotionally abusive marriage as well as experience dealing with spiritually abusive counselors and church leaders to the table. I'm not a professional. I'm your sister survivor walking beside you.
Third, I've read over 200 books and resources directly related to emotional and spiritual abuse, and I've vetted the cream of the crop. I can not only direct women to the best resources for their needs, but I have written several courses available to all Flying Free members that break down the things I've learned into easy, bite sized lessons PERFECT for women who are still in the thick of the battle and don't have time or energy to study the prolific amount of information out there.
Fourth, I'm personally involved every day in this group. You will find me in the private forum, in "office hours," and in live chats and Q&A's each month. YOU are my priority.
And finally, I bring other professional authors and advocates to you so you can learn from a wide variety of experts. I want you to meet and experience the insights and wisdom that dozens of other advocates and former survivors bring to the table so when your time here is over, you have a tool chest chock full of resources at your fingertips.
That's one of the most confusing problems to figure out, and guess what? Flying Free will help you do exactly that. If you aren't ready for Flying Free yet, I recommend getting my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. That book will help you discover whether or not you are in an emotionally abusive relationship—and the next steps you can take to find hope and healing again.
Oh my goodness, YES! We've got lots of women in Flying Free who are committed to staying in their marriage relationship. They are working on themselves and growing strong. One member's husband was so impressed with the changes in his wife, now HE is beginning to change! Does that happen every time? Nope. In fact, it's actually rare. But my point is - getting strong and healthy can only be a good thing, whether or not your spouse changes.
Reacting to abuse in unhealthy ways just means you need help with boundaries. Your counselor may actually be missing a whole lot of what you really need. Flying Free will give you the tools you need to grow strong in your own boundaries so you can respond to abuse as a mature adult woman rather than a trapped cat in a corner.
That's okay. Change is totally up to you. You can take it slow, or you can have a major epiphany overnight. But Flying Free will never force you to do or change anything. If you join and you change (which I believe you will), I promise it will be because you WANT to. Flying Free will help you make an honest assessment of what's going on in your life while empowering you to make good decisions that will be healthy for you and your family.
"I didn't have any idea of what was offered for the monthly fee. Would I get my money's worth? I have been so impressed and blown away but all that is offered. The depth of the material is amazing and super helpful. Real techniques on how to change and be free of old patterns, habits, and belief systems are impacting my life in an intense, beautiful way. I LOVE the organization of the monthly lessons with worksheets and clear directions. I'm a detail person and this is so comfortable for me. It's well-paced with incremental growth steps that are totally doable! It's worth every penny! I am growing and changing in ways that I never dreamed possible. I'm realizing what a child I have been emotionally. My beliefs and viewpoint have been shaped by abusive people and difficult situations, and I had no clue. Hope, healing, peace, and freedom are some of the things that I am finding by diving into the resources here. The monthly lessons are opening up a whole new way of thinking and behaving. There is so much that I didn't know. I am learning to handle my emotions, thoughts, my brain universe, actions, and also what are (and are not) my responsibilities as it relates to myself and others. I love it! This is exactly what I needed to start to heal from a lifetime of abuse."
My name is Natalie Hoffman. I'm a mom of nine, educator, author, relationship coach, and survivor of covert emotional and spiritual abuse from my former marriage and church.
I know what it's like to crawl, and I know what it's like to fly free. My passion is to help women of faith go from one to the other.
I've gently and compassionately walked this path with hundreds of women, and I'm ready to walk it beside you.
You're not alone anymore.
Weekly mini journal therapy assignments that will teach you how to set healthy boundaries, tolerate disapproval, have self-compassion, and grow a deeper relationship with your Creator. You'll finally grow up into that strong adult you've dreamed of being your whole life.
Access to a different educational course every month. Explore topics like boundaries, spiritual abuse, detaching and detoxing from emotional abuse, parenting post-abuse, untangling Scripture used to control you, recovering from C-PTSD, and more. And don't worry—you'll get lessons in small, bite-sized portions so you won't get overwhelmed
Access to a private forum for women who are going through the same things you're going through. These women will become some of your most trusted friends as you support and encourage one another on your journey toward wholeness.
A brand new, exclusive workshop every month with an influential author/advocate. You'll get instant access to all past workshops as soon as you join!
Group coaching with Natalie each week where you can get the personalized support you crave.
One LIVE sisterhood gathering with Natalie and others in Flying Free each month where we'll discuss the issues going on in your lives right now.
One 2-hour LIVE Q&A with Natalie every month where you'll get to ask questions related to emotional and religious abuse and get practical answers and encouragement to help you move forward.
A "Butterfly" video interview every month with a survivor so you can see how other women have gone from crawling to flying and learn from their experiences.
The opportunity to join private online book studies where you can dig deeper into a life-changing book with other women just like you.
Access to the growing video library of past Q&A's and coffee chats that are chock full of golden nuggets and quick wins to educate and inspire you on your healing journey.
Priority. This group gets the cream off the top of everything I learn (and I'm constantly reading and taking classes in this field of work.) You'll experience the benefits of being priority every single week.
BONUS: A portion of each month's proceeds goes to the ministry, Give Her Wings which offers money and support to victims of domestic violence escaping their abusive situation. When you join Flying Free, you're not just getting help, you're giving help to other women in need at the same time.
Now is the time to let go of the toxic messages, core beliefs, and relationships that are shaming and controlling you—so you can move into a place of wholeness and beautiful strength. The kind of inner freedom that will enable you to rise up and truly LIVE in safety and rest. Let's get started!
Before I joined Flying Free, I was wandering around in the darkness of shame, guilt, and fear. I was utterly lost inside myself. One of the worst traumas of my life had just occurred. The man who claimed to love me and wanted to spend his life with me, took a gun to my head and threatened to kill me. Only by Gods grace did I live, only by Gods grace did he not pull the trigger. The weeks that followed were confusing and scary. I prayed all the time. God led me to flying free. This group has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Flying Free has given me tools and resources. I no longer look at my hurts as a defect. I see the struggles and scars as the places where God pulled me through, and I’m proud to show off my battle scars. I am no longer afraid.
S.T. Mesa, AZ
I was concerned that I was going to hear a bunch of "good advice " that would not really pertain to my situation. I was concerned that I would feel worse about my situation and that somehow it really was/is " all in my head." Oh my gracious! I am both saddened by so many stories that sound just like mine and encouraged that there are women who truly understand and truly want to get whole and free. I have learned so much in such a short period of time. Every story I read, comment that is posted and lesson to work through, God is showing Himself to me and bringing freedom in areas I never thought I would ever be free.
T.F. Frederick, MD
I was worried this wasn't the right place for me since I am not currently pursuing divorce or separation. I was also worried that members with strong opinions would treat me like I am an idiot for staying and trying to fix things. But I have been supported by the members and have people who understand what I am going through. The curriculum has been great! It has helped me start to change my thinking about my life and myself.
D.N. South Holland, IL
I wasn't sure what to expect, I was worried it would tell me the same things other counselors would, just to be happy and thankful in my situation, lean on God, but not offer me any actual solutions I can use. Flying Free is the complete opposite of what I expected; and in a good way. I feel like what Natalie is offering far exceeds any counseling I've had so far. She offers hope, but also practical lessons and exercises and I feel like I am getting stronger little by little. I feel like what you pay monthly is nothing compared to the value that you receive from the program. I feel like Natalie is caring and she interacts with you on the forums. It's completely worth the money and the time invested.
T.S. Colorado Springs, CO
I was afraid that if I joined Flying Free I wouldn’t do the work, I wouldn’t be brave enough to use the forum, and that I would not gain from group sessions. How wrong I was. Hearing the Q&A I learn something from each session I can relate to. I have found that the forum is very encouraging and everyone meets me WHERE I AM, not where they think I should be. There isn’t any shame for being in my stage in my time. The monthly course has been so helpful in my thinking that I’m using it with my children! I am by no means an expert, but just identifying the feelings, the lies, and the truth makes a huge difference. For me, the monthly lessons were the MOST beneficial, but the group coaching has been a close second. The best part? I can afford it!! I have struggled finding a therapist that understands emotional abuse and I certainly can’t afford all of that therapy! This has been a wonderful a positive step in self care when I was doing nothing outside of reading before.
W.O. Bryon, TX
I've found a renewed confidence that God is aware of my pain and wanting and willing to help me as I walk this journey of healing. I've also felt understood as I learned this new definition of abuse as the misassignment of responsibility. This matches my experience and makes so much sense. I like the structure of having small, bite-sized lessons to work through, with regular reminder emails. Reminder isn't the right word, but those emails make me feel like I'm being checked in with. This has made the whole process seem manageable. I also like the shared sisterhood of people who understand without you having to explain it to them. The experience of emotional abuse and betrayal trauma is so isolating. Having a community that gets it is empowering.
S.J. Tomball, TX
I found the underlying message to grow into emotionally mature womanhood is right on target! It so resonates with what I believe God wants. I'm beginning to feel more confident in the direction I'm going. Kind of like I've been swimming in the ocean for hours or even days keeping my head up and heading to shore, but now I have a rope to hold on to and it's helping to pull me to shore. The feeling that someone is sharing my burden and while they aren't going to carry it for me, they are helping to adjust it and make it easier and lighter.
Y.B. Miller, SD
My main concern was that I’d get a lot of what I’ve already gotten through therapy and other support groups, which obviously wasn’t working because here I am! The frank and straightforward, easy-to-understand way in which Natalie presents the truth has been so clarifying and freeing for me and has aided me exponentially in seeing clearly!
T.O. Northbridge, MA
I was afraid Flying Free would be a “man hater” group and not encourage me to follow my path at my pace. I also worried that it wouldn't be worth the cost. I've discovered that it is an excellent community, with resources that offer true help and not a bunch of spam. Everyone is so supportive and accepting even though we are all on different paths, yet still we all fit together in the community.
T.A. Rochester, MN
"I was done with the *home-wife-mom* help groups. I was ready for something different. No facilitator or group of women has been as transparent, down to earth, heart searching, God loving, diverse, funny, raw, real, and strengthening as these women. Natalie is a very gifted communicator, encourager, and a genuine, wise, witty and passionate-for-honesty facilitator and coach. Jumping into this group was one of the best decisions I ever made."
T.M. Corpus Christi, TX
"I was afraid to let my damaged parts show. I kept a lot of myself locked up tight, but gently, God has used Flying Free to open up a crack. I am post-divorce, but the posts, assignments, and guided journaling apply to me very deeply. Natalie knows how to ask good questions that prompt self-reflection and push me toward Christ—toward stepping into who He made me to be. I feel safe here. I have grown a ton in the past two months, and Flying Free is a big part of that."
S.W. Madison, WI
"It's hard to describe how isolated I felt before Flying Free. I hardly understand the truth and reality of my situation- the narcissistic abuse, coupled with my inclination to remain invested in “fixing” my marriage, left me swirling in confusion. I was trying my best to stay focused on God but felt very much isolated from support. Flying Free provided a bridge to a community of women who were walking the same the journey I was on. I could recover at my own pace. The best thing is simply the acknowledgement and understanding and validation from this group. While we all find ourselves in different abuse situations, the patterns are the same. The experiences are shared. We can tell our truths and receive support instead of misguided advice. Flying Free has allowed me to heal much faster. Part of our healing process, scripturally, is sharing our testimony in a supportive community, and that’s the kind of help I've received here. "
R.M. Tulsa, OK
"I was worried it wouldn't be worth the money since finances are a major struggle right now. Turns out it has saved me money since I can do the lessons on my time and don't need to pay a babysitter so I can see a councilor. I have received more emotional help through Flying Free than two years of weekly counseling."
W.M. Lincoln, NE
Flying Free is a structured, proven approach to dealing with my situation where there are multiple solutions for both scenarios, staying and leaving. I felt very overwhelmed and unsure what to even do about my situation until I joined FF. The most helpful part for me is the coaching I get from Natalie through the weekly group coaching sessions and through the forum. I can't believe how affordable it is for what you get. It's packed with resources for all learning styles.
J.E. Oklahoma City, OK
"I came to Flying Free post-divorce. I wanted to make sure I was covering all of the bases in order to ensure healing for myself and my kids. Through Natalie's leadership and insight and this amazing group of women, I've realized that there are additional toxic relationships in my life that need to be dealt with. I really wasn't sure that I needed to be in Flying Free, but am so grateful to be here! I will continue to fight for complete freedom for my family!
D.H. Pittsburgh PA
"I was still trying to figure out where my own path would lead. Flying Free gave me support, love, and clarity about my own situation through the interactions and information presented. I am feeling stronger and more clear every day. Natalie has put together a wealth of excellent information to help women in abusive relationships. I am learning new things and feeling encouraged to regain my strength and dignity.
B.R. Houston, TX
"I had spent the last three years crying. It took two years for the divorce to be final. I had left my church, withdrew my membership and moved away. I bought a cabin in the mountains and finalized small details. But, I struggled daily with depression. After I joined Flying Free, I felt like I finally found a group of sisters that understood my story. We might not live close, but we understand abuse, and we try to help one another through prayer and encouragement. This group has been a huge benefit to me.
M.K. Newark, NJ
"I had felt alone and isolated for so long. Flying Free was God's answer to my sorrow and loneliness in this area of abuse, because although I am loved by my friends and family, not a single person in my community truly grasps my experience. With Natalie & the Flying Free ladies I know that:
1. There's no judgment and "good wifey lectures."
2. They're not going to treat me like a victim or feel sorry for me .
3. It's real support and real advice, based on our relationship with Christ and not traditions of man."
K.D. Ames, IA
"I was drowning, and Natalie threw me a life-line. I had a year of counseling, but I grew more working through the courses in Flying Free. These resources are unique and better than other things I've found out there, and the structure keeps me motivated. This has been a great investment of time and money."
G.B. Boston, MA
There is something new and exciting to look forward to every week. I also love that we are a faith-based group of like-minded believers, but I see acceptance and respect which is healing after being in circles where that has not been demonstrated.
H.S. Fargo, ND
I have found validation, understanding and answers to what has happened to me. I'm learning how to move from merely understanding abuse into healing for life. That is so important to me!I love that everything I need is "at my fingertips" and I don't have to search all over the Internet for answers. Right now this is the easiest path for both my limited time and traumatized brain to be able to grasp the concepts of abuse and healing. Secondly, I'd have to say that I love that everything we do or say stems from the perspective of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. There are lots of very good resources to help with abuse and healing, but for me, healing without Jesus is incomplete and inadequate. I want to be healed wholly from the inside-out and that can only be accomplished by my Creator and Savior.
K.L. Atlanta, GA
I was worried Flying Free might be like other groups where it doesn’t seem to be solution oriented - mostly just venting. However, it is very solution oriented, and I feel supported regardless of where I am on my journey. The organization of the site and the program is incredible and the lessons and workshops have all been beneficial. I feel like I can cut back a little on therapy and should be able to save money that way. But also in therapy I can focus on other things that need attention, not only my relationship with my husband. I might be able to make faster progress on becoming healthier. I love how it is holistic and works in research on the mind, body, and spirit. It’s well rounded and research based.
J.H. Raeford, NC
Flying Free offers amazing lessons, videos, teaching, coaching. I have told so many friends about Flying Free and your book. It really saved my faith. I have been struggling in my relationship with God and was at a point of giving up. Every lesson has been so powerful. I have been truly changed in just one month. I'm excited about my future. I feel like I have tools to help me with the down times.Because you have a created a comprehensive healing pathway for us to walk down, we are learning become stronger, healthier Christian women. I know I am growing and seeing breakthroughs in areas that have held me back for years. I still have a long way to go but I am so happy right now. I haven't experience this much victory for years. I have already shared with 5 other friends who are in destructive marriages. Why? It works. It is transformative. I have been doing a lot of counseling but this is really taking it up a notch.
R.G. Creston, CA
I have a hard time making decisions, afraid to make the wrong one, but I finally allowed myself to join and gave myself permission to cancel down the road if it isn't a good fit. I don't have a counselor right now, so I am finding the homework assignments a very good way of keeping me accountable and moving forward. Something that Flying Free offers that isn't available through traditional counseling is the family of sisters that are there to journey along with you. I like that there is so much to choose from and you can take it on at your own pace. You don't have to feel like your behind or failing. All the resources are there for you when you are ready.
V.J. Ellicott City, MD
I thought I'd just waste my money and time if I joined, but the first month made such a positive alteration on my heart and mind....life! Hearing the truth of the Word of God is breaking down strongholds of lies in my mind! They're slowly changing fear to confidence, the firmly believed lie that I couldn't be successful or valued in my life. Helping me love myself and others better because I'm accepting love from Jesus. Getting encouragement from woman from who understand is much more powerful that from those who don't. The advice from the expert workshops is amazing. Reading and hearing people articulate what's vaguely been in my mind. WOW!!
P.K. Newport News, VA
"Before Flying Free I felt judged and devalued by my pastor and other leaders in my church. I just wanted help with the continuous, escalating problems in my marriage. But nobody understood or took me seriously.
After a few months in Flying Free, I was able to regain my balance, live in more peace and clarity, and strengthen my faith and spirit. I found sound Biblical counsel, and I developed relationships with other women who sincerely cared and understood where I was. And more importantly, I learned how how to lovingly and wisely move forward.
P.H. Atlanta, GA
I was concerned there would be too strong of an emphasis on spiritual abuse and that much content wouldn't apply to my situation since I'm not dealing with spiritual abuse.I knew Flying Free would be packed full of helpful resources, but so far the content I've worked through has exceeded my expectations. There are many helpful exercises I can actually do to make real progress gradually. I love that journaling is an integral part to the process, as I've always been an avid journaler and know the value of it.
C.L. Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada
"I came to Flying Free confused and broken-hearted...I was at the bottom of the pit. Up seemed impossible, but down seemed like a terrible choice, too. I was scared. When I announced my divorce, my family betrayed me, and it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life. But slowly I got the strength to climb. I don't know how, but finally I've made it to the top and it's so amazing! I'm now cheering other people on. Life is going to be good. It's still complicated, but finally, there is hope. I never would have gotten here without Flying Free."
"Ladies, I have read dozens of books, multiple blogs, listened to various podcasts over the last three years, searching to make sense of the abuse I have been through in my life. I got many answers, but never the answers that related to me as a woman devoted to God. That was the one unanswered question I had been praying for when God led me to Natalie's website. It has been only a week of reading her book and studying the course, but I realize now that this resource is all the help I would have needed!! All of you new members are bountifully blessed to have found this at the beginning of your journey. I say "journey" because that is what your new life will be. You have been led by God out of your Egypt into a wandering journey where God will lead you and teach you. Trust that he will lead you out of the land of confusion. As with the multitude, He will guide you with his fire by night and His cloud by day. He will feed you His life giving manna and refresh you with His springs of living water. But this is going to be a difficult, challenging journey. Natalie has provided you with a priceless resource to carry you through to the promised land of freedom from abuse and regeneration of your soul so that you can truly Fly Free into the arms of your loving Father. Remember this: You didn't break it. You don't have to fix it. Just trust this. You will learn the truth of it as you study. I want to share with you one little fact I have learned in my "wanderings" that may help you be kinder to yourself. The normal unabused brain needs 1 to 7 times of repititons of a concept before it can assimilate and apply it. Your brain (and mine) has been damaged by the abuse we have suffered. An abused brain takes 100 to 200 times of repitition. Now, don't be overwhelmed about this. God is the one we rely on. He can change the dynamic. So when you get anxious about your inability to understand and process all the information given to us by Natalie, be kind to yourself. Take baby steps. God, bless our journeys. Give us hope and peace."