An online coaching, education, and support community for women of faith in destructive relationships.


Every couple faces challenges and you knew marriage would take hard work, but you thought you’d be in it together. Instead...

  • You hate to even bring up problems with your husband because you fear how he’ll respond. So you wind up tangled in a never-ending internal battle and always seem to walk away carrying the blame.
  • He hates the things you enjoy, and you’re drowning in loneliness even though you have other friends. (Other people seem to like you…why doesn’t HE?)
  • You hate to admit it, but you feel the most peaceful when he’s not even around.

You dreamed of having an intimate relationship where you felt safe and loved. Instead...

  • You find yourself constantly gauging your husband’s emotions in every situation. (Ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells? It’s a good way to cut your feet.)
  • You work hard to avoid the critical words and looks when he’s annoyed with something you’ve said or done.
  • You DO feel loved sometimes…but only when you’re successful at making him happy and keeping his ego stroked.

You’ve done everything you know to do…

  • You’ve read marriage books (a STACK of them), and you’ve tried everything they say: Showed him more respect. Started speaking ALL FIVE love languages. Showed him you cared enough to have sex on his terms. 
  • You’ve sought “wise counsel” from people at your church. From elders. People who KNOW the Bible. You’re trying to get answers, but they just don’t see what’s really happening. (… which makes you feel more invisible.).
  • YOU can see that you’ve grown, in spite of the pressure. You’re more kind. More forgiving. But it’s getting harder to forgive, harder to keep your cool when you feel like lashing out at his accusations (LORD, please give me patience!)
  • …And it’s tough to admit, but when you’re honest? It’s not getting better.

It's getting worse...

But what if...

What if you didn’t NEED the approval of others to feel confident that you can make good decisions for you and your kids?

What if you had a group of friends that understood your marriage problems and could offer the support and acceptance you crave? Friends that have your back and will love you and respect the choices you’re making?

…And what if you had a way of dealing with your old hurts and baggage so you can deprogram from the lies that are keeping you stuck — to start walking with confidence and hope?

Imagine not being afraid of the future because you had the self-awareness, skills, confidence, and freedom to make adult decisions.

(You feel like you could do this if you weren't so alone...)


The Flying Free 


A lifeline of support and help for women of faith experiencing emotional and spiritual abuse in their relationships.


"I didn't have any idea of what was offered for the monthly fee. Would I get my money's worth? I have been so impressed and blown away but all that is offered. The depth of the material is amazing and super helpful. Real techniques on how to change and be free of old patterns, habits, and belief systems are impacting my life in an intense, beautiful way. I LOVE the organization of the monthly lessons with worksheets and clear directions. I'm a detail person and this is so comfortable for me. It's well-paced with incremental growth steps that are totally doable! It's worth every penny! I am growing and changing in ways that I never dreamed possible. I'm realizing what a child I have been emotionally. My beliefs and viewpoint have been shaped by abusive people and difficult situations, and I had no clue. Hope, healing, peace, and freedom are some of the things that I am finding by diving into the resources here. The monthly lessons are opening up a whole new way of thinking and behaving. There is so much that I didn't know. I am learning to handle my emotions, thoughts, my brain universe, actions, and also what are (and are not) my responsibilities as it relates to myself and others. I love it! This is exactly what I needed to start to heal from a lifetime of abuse."

N.J. Nampa, ID
Flying Free Member

Meet Your Flight Instructor

My name is Natalie Hoffman. I'm a former homeschooling mom of nine, educator, author, podcaster, professional certified coach, and life-long survivor of covert emotional and spiritual abuse.

I know what it's like to crawl, and I know what it's like to fly free. My passion, education, and skill set empowers women of faith to go from one to the other. 

I've gently and compassionately walked this path with hundreds of women, and I'm ready to walk it beside you.

You're not alone anymore.



"I came to Flying Free confused and broken-hearted...I was at the bottom of the pit. Up seemed impossible, but down seemed like a terrible choice, too. I was scared. When I announced my divorce, my family betrayed me, and it was the worst pain I'd ever felt in my entire life. But slowly I got the strength to climb. I don't know how, but finally I've made it to the top and it's so amazing! I'm now cheering other people on. Life is going to be good. It's still complicated, but finally, there is hope. I never would have gotten here without Flying Free."

K.T. Omaha, NE
Flying Free Member

Are you ready to go from crawling to flying?

Now is the time to let go of the toxic messages, core beliefs, and relationships that are shaming and controlling you—so you can move into a place of wholeness and beautiful strength. The kind of inner freedom that will enable you to rise up and truly LIVE in safety and rest. Let's get started!


Here's What Flying Free Members Are Saying

Before I joined Flying Free, I was wandering around in the darkness of shame, guilt, and fear. I was utterly lost inside myself. One of the worst traumas of my life had just occurred. The man who claimed to love me and wanted to spend his life with me, took a gun to my head and threatened to kill me. Only by Gods grace did I live, only by Gods grace did he not pull the trigger. The weeks that followed were confusing and scary. I prayed all the time. God led me to flying free. This group has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. Flying Free has given me tools and resources. I no longer look at my hurts as a defect. I see the struggles and scars as the places where God pulled me through, and I’m proud to show off my battle scars. I am no longer afraid.

S.T. Mesa, AZ

I was concerned that I was going to hear a bunch of "good advice " that would not really pertain to my situation. I was concerned that I would feel worse about my situation and that somehow it really was/is " all in my head." Oh my gracious! I am both saddened by so many stories that sound just like mine and encouraged that there are women who truly understand and truly want to get whole and free. I have learned so much in such a short period of time. Every story I read, comment that is posted and lesson to work through, God is showing Himself to me and bringing freedom in areas I never thought I would ever be free.

T.F. Frederick, MD

I was worried this wasn't the right place for me since I am not currently pursuing divorce or separation. I was also worried that members with strong opinions would treat me like I am an idiot for staying and trying to fix things. But I have been supported by the members and have people who understand what I am going through. The curriculum has been great! It has helped me start to change my thinking about my life and myself.

D.N. South Holland, IL

I wasn't sure what to expect, I was worried it would tell me the same things other counselors would, just to be happy and thankful in my situation, lean on God, but not offer me any actual solutions I can use. Flying Free is the complete opposite of what I expected; and in a good way. I feel like what Natalie is offering far exceeds any counseling I've had so far. She offers hope, but also practical lessons and exercises and I feel like I am getting stronger little by little. I feel like what you pay monthly is nothing compared to the value that you receive from the program. I feel like Natalie is caring and she interacts with you on the forums. It's completely worth the money and the time invested.

T.S. Colorado Springs, CO

I was afraid that if I joined Flying Free I wouldn’t do the work, I wouldn’t be brave enough to use the forum, and that I would not gain from group sessions. How wrong I was. Hearing the Q&A I learn something from each session I can relate to. I have found that the forum is very encouraging and everyone meets me WHERE I AM, not where they think I should be. There isn’t any shame for being in my stage in my time. The monthly course has been so helpful in my thinking that I’m using it with my children! I am by no means an expert, but just identifying the feelings, the lies, and the truth makes a huge difference. For me, the monthly lessons were the MOST beneficial, but the group coaching has been a close second. The best part? I can afford it!! I have struggled finding a therapist that understands emotional abuse and I certainly can’t afford all of that therapy! This has been a wonderful a positive step in self care when I was doing nothing outside of reading before.

W.O. Bryon, TX

I've found a renewed confidence that God is aware of my pain and wanting and willing to help me as I walk this journey of healing. I've also felt understood as I learned this new definition of abuse as the misassignment of responsibility. This matches my experience and makes so much sense. I like the structure of having small, bite-sized lessons to work through, with regular reminder emails. Reminder isn't the right word, but those emails make me feel like I'm being checked in with. This has made the whole process seem manageable. I also like the shared sisterhood of people who understand without you having to explain it to them. The experience of emotional abuse and betrayal trauma is so isolating. Having a community that gets it is empowering.

S.J. Tomball, TX

I found the underlying message to grow into emotionally mature womanhood is right on target! It so resonates with what I believe God wants. I'm beginning to feel more confident in the direction I'm going. Kind of like I've been swimming in the ocean for hours or even days keeping my head up and heading to shore, but now I have a rope to hold on to and it's helping to pull me to shore. The feeling that someone is sharing my burden and while they aren't going to carry it for me, they are helping to adjust it and make it easier and lighter.

Y.B. Miller, SD

My main concern was that I’d get a lot of what I’ve already gotten through therapy and other support groups, which obviously wasn’t working because here I am! The frank and straightforward, easy-to-understand way in which Natalie presents the truth has been so clarifying and freeing for me and has aided me exponentially in seeing clearly!

T.O. Northbridge, MA

I was afraid Flying Free would be a “man hater” group and not encourage me to follow my path at my pace. I also worried that it wouldn't be worth the cost. I've discovered that it is an excellent community, with resources that offer true help and not a bunch of spam. Everyone is so supportive and accepting even though we are all on different paths, yet still we all fit together in the community.

T.A. Rochester, MN

"I was done with the *home-wife-mom* help groups. I was ready for something different. No facilitator or group of women has been as transparent, down to earth, heart searching, God loving, diverse, funny, raw, real, and strengthening as these women. Natalie is a very gifted communicator, encourager, and a genuine, wise, witty and passionate-for-honesty facilitator and coach. Jumping into this group was one of the best decisions I ever made."

T.M. Corpus Christi, TX

"I was afraid to let my damaged parts show. I kept a lot of myself locked up tight, but gently, God has used Flying Free to open up a crack. I am post-divorce, but the posts, assignments, and guided journaling apply to me very deeply. Natalie knows how to ask good questions that prompt self-reflection and push me toward Christ—toward stepping into who He made me to be. I feel safe here. I have grown a ton in the past two months, and Flying Free is a big part of that."

S.W. Madison, WI

"It's hard to describe how isolated I felt before Flying Free. I hardly understand the truth and reality of my situation- the narcissistic abuse, coupled with my inclination to remain invested in “fixing” my marriage, left me swirling in confusion. I was trying my best to stay focused on God but felt very much isolated from support. Flying Free provided a bridge to a community of women who were walking the same the journey I was on. I could recover at my own pace. The best thing is simply the acknowledgement and understanding and validation from this group. While we all find ourselves in different abuse situations, the patterns are the same. The experiences are shared. We can tell our truths and receive support instead of misguided advice. Flying Free has allowed me to heal much faster. Part of our healing process, scripturally, is sharing our testimony in a supportive community, and that’s the kind of help I've received here. "

R.M. Tulsa, OK

"I was worried it wouldn't be worth the money since finances are a major struggle right now. Turns out it has saved me money since I can do the lessons on my time and don't need to pay a babysitter so I can see a councilor. I have received more emotional help through Flying Free than two years of weekly counseling."

W.M. Lincoln, NE

Flying Free is a structured, proven approach to dealing with my situation where there are multiple solutions for both scenarios, staying and leaving. I felt very overwhelmed and unsure what to even do about my situation until I joined FF. The most helpful part for me is the coaching I get from Natalie through the weekly group coaching sessions and through the forum. I can't believe how affordable it is for what you get. It's packed with resources for all learning styles.

J.E. Oklahoma City, OK

"I came to Flying Free post-divorce. I wanted to make sure I was covering all of the bases in order to ensure healing for myself and my kids. Through Natalie's leadership and insight and this amazing group of women, I've realized that there are additional toxic relationships in my life that need to be dealt with. I really wasn't sure that I needed to be in Flying Free, but am so grateful to be here! I will continue to fight for complete freedom for my family!

D.H. Pittsburgh PA

"I was still trying to figure out where my own path would lead. Flying Free gave me support, love, and clarity about my own situation through the interactions and information presented. I am feeling stronger and more clear every day. Natalie has put together a wealth of excellent information to help women in abusive relationships. I am learning new things and feeling encouraged to regain my strength and dignity.

B.R. Houston, TX

"I had spent the last three years crying. It took two years for the divorce to be final. I had left my church, withdrew my membership and moved away. I bought a cabin in the mountains and finalized small details. But, I struggled daily with depression. After I joined Flying Free, I felt like I finally found a group of sisters that understood my story. We might not live close, but we understand abuse, and we try to help one another through prayer and encouragement. This group has been a huge benefit to me.

M.K. Newark, NJ

"I had felt alone and isolated for so long. Flying Free was God's answer to my sorrow and loneliness in this area of abuse, because although I am loved by my friends and family, not a single person in my community truly grasps my experience. With Natalie & the Flying Free ladies I know that:  

1. There's no judgment and "good wifey lectures."  

2. They're not going to treat me like a victim or feel sorry for me .  

3. It's real support and real advice, based on our relationship with Christ and not traditions of man."

K.D. Ames, IA

"I was drowning, and Natalie threw me a life-line. I had a year of counseling, but I grew more working through the courses in Flying Free. These resources are unique and better than other things I've found out there, and the structure keeps me motivated. This has been a great investment of time and money."

G.B. Boston, MA

There is something new and exciting to look forward to every week. I also love that we are a faith-based group of like-minded believers, but I see acceptance and respect which is healing after being in circles where that has not been demonstrated.

H.S. Fargo, ND

I have found validation, understanding and answers to what has happened to me. I'm learning how to move from merely understanding abuse into healing for life. That is so important to me!I love that everything I need is "at my fingertips" and I don't have to search all over the Internet for answers. Right now this is the easiest path for both my limited time and traumatized brain to be able to grasp the concepts of abuse and healing. Secondly, I'd have to say that I love that everything we do or say stems from the perspective of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. There are lots of very good resources to help with abuse and healing, but for me, healing without Jesus is incomplete and inadequate. I want to be healed wholly from the inside-out and that can only be accomplished by my Creator and Savior.

K.L. Atlanta, GA

I was worried Flying Free might be like other groups where it doesn’t seem to be solution oriented - mostly just venting. However, it is very solution oriented, and I feel supported regardless of where I am on my journey. The organization of the site and the program is incredible and the lessons and workshops have all been beneficial. I feel like I can cut back a little on therapy and should be able to save money that way. But also in therapy I can focus on other things that need attention, not only my relationship with my husband. I might be able to make faster progress on becoming healthier. I love how it is holistic and works in research on the mind, body, and spirit. It’s well rounded and research based.

J.H. Raeford, NC

Flying Free offers amazing lessons, videos, teaching, coaching. I have told so many friends about Flying Free and your book. It really saved my faith. I have been struggling in my relationship with God and was at a point of giving up.  Every lesson has been so powerful. I have been truly changed in just one month. I'm excited about my future. I feel like I have tools to help me with the down times.Because you have a created a comprehensive healing pathway for us to walk down, we are learning become stronger, healthier Christian women. I know I am growing and seeing breakthroughs in areas that have held me back for years. I still have a long way to go but I am so happy right now. I haven't experience this much victory for years. I have already shared with 5 other friends who are in destructive marriages. Why? It works. It is transformative. I have been doing a lot of counseling but this is really taking it up a notch.

R.G. Creston, CA

I have a hard time making decisions, afraid to make the wrong one, but I finally allowed myself to join and gave myself permission to cancel down the road if it isn't a good fit. I don't have a counselor right now, so I am finding the homework assignments a very good way of keeping me accountable and moving forward. Something that Flying Free offers that isn't available through traditional counseling is the family of sisters that are there to journey along with you. I like that there is so much to choose from and you can take it on at your own pace. You don't have to feel like your behind or failing. All the resources are there for you when you are ready.

V.J. Ellicott City, MD

I thought I'd just waste my money and time if I joined, but the first month made such a positive alteration on my heart and! Hearing the truth of the Word of God is breaking down strongholds of lies in my mind! They're slowly changing fear to confidence, the firmly believed lie that I couldn't be successful or valued in my life. Helping me love myself and others better because I'm accepting love from Jesus. Getting encouragement from woman from who understand is much more powerful that from those who don't. The advice from the expert workshops is amazing. Reading and hearing people articulate what's vaguely been in my mind. WOW!!

P.K. Newport News, VA

"Before Flying Free I felt judged and devalued by my pastor and other leaders in my church. I just wanted help with the continuous, escalating problems in my marriage. But nobody understood or took me seriously.

After a few months in Flying Free, I was able to regain my balance, live in more peace and clarity, and strengthen my faith and spirit. I found sound Biblical counsel, and I developed relationships with other women who sincerely cared and understood where I was. And more importantly, I learned how how to lovingly and wisely move forward.

P.H. Atlanta, GA

I was concerned there would be too strong of an emphasis on spiritual abuse and that much content wouldn't apply to my situation since I'm not dealing with spiritual abuse.I knew Flying Free would be packed full of helpful resources, but so far the content I've worked through has exceeded my expectations. There are many helpful exercises I can actually do to make real progress gradually. I love that journaling is an integral part to the process, as I've always been an avid journaler and know the value of it.

C.L. Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada


"Ladies, I have read dozens of books, multiple blogs, listened to various podcasts over the last three years, searching to make sense of the abuse I have been through in my life. I got many answers, but never the answers that related to me as a woman devoted to God. That was the one unanswered question I had been praying for when God led me to Natalie's website. It has been only a week of reading her book and studying the course, but I realize now that this resource is all the help I would have needed!! All of you new members are bountifully blessed to have found this at the beginning of your journey. I say "journey" because that is what your new life will be. You have been led by God out of your Egypt into a wandering journey where God will lead you and teach you. Trust that he will lead you out of the land of confusion. As with the multitude, He will guide you with his fire by night and His cloud by day. He will feed you His life giving manna and refresh you with His springs of living water. But this is going to be a difficult, challenging journey. Natalie has provided you with a priceless resource to carry you through to the promised land of freedom from abuse and regeneration of your soul so that you can truly Fly Free into the arms of your loving Father. Remember this: You didn't break it. You don't have to fix it. Just trust this. You will learn the truth of it as you study. I want to share with you one little fact I have learned in my "wanderings" that may help you be kinder to yourself. The normal unabused brain needs 1 to 7 times of repititons of a concept before it can assimilate and apply it. Your brain (and mine) has been damaged by the abuse we have suffered. An abused brain takes 100 to 200 times of repitition. Now, don't be overwhelmed about this. God is the one we rely on. He can change the dynamic. So when you get anxious about your inability to understand and process all the information given to us by Natalie, be kind to yourself. Take baby steps. God, bless our journeys. Give us hope and peace."

Flying Free Member

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